Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Schrodinger's Santa



It's that time of year when a young physicist's heart turns to modeling Santa.

This year is no different. Note the Santa Physics site below.

However, not limited by being a physicist, I think they're all wrong.

If Santa approaches the speed of light he can actually transit to all of the necessary spots he needs to get to. And there might be some contraction effects that might help or hinder. But get real. If he's going to move that fast he's starting and stopping a lot. That's a lot of energy he has to consume to hit every chimney equivalent on the planet. Not to mention that if he's moving that fast, time slows down for him. Sure, he can transit all of his targets. But his relative time is so slow he can't deposit any presents.

I think Santa is a quantum effect.

Each of Santa's visitations is a single state event. Santa can occupy any of them. However, according to quantum theory, all of these states exist simultaneously. Therefore, Santa is simultaneously leaving on a track to the target, depositing the presents and returns. The time involved for all trips is equivalent to the time involve for a single trip. Santa can easily accomplish his task without ever risking the dangers of relativity.

This is why it's bad luck to observe him. If you observe Santa, it collapses the Santa eigenstates into the single observed Santa, so that a single child gets a single present at the cost of all other children. Hence, we bed the children down since no child can be trusted to not get that single present.

As Heisenberg calculated one Christmas evening, you can observe Santa's delivery or you can have the presents. You can't have both.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kickass Kwanzaa and Nominal Newtonmas.

Stevep
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