visible.com

I just have to document this.

I recently wanted to get a new phone for my son Ben. I looked around and found visible.com. I created the account with his name but my email-- figuring once I got everything set up I would change it over for him to take care of it.

Little did I know I was about to enter hell.

So: I go through the set up of getting the phone and part way through I need to go to a meeting. I leave and come back and it says to continue where we left off. Okay.

But it can't proceed. It won't let me get past the point. Let me point out that, unlike all other commerce sites on the planet, there is no cart button. No way to empty the cart. No way to cancel the transaction. Just a little "Welcome back. Let's continue where we left off." So if I changed my mind-- well, I coudn't change my mind.

Chat with customer support. They cancel the transaction. No problem.

I do a little more digging. Decide it's the phone Ben wants. Go through it again. This time I get further. But it won't take my address. It pops up and says pick one of the selections. There are no selections. I take what I've typed in and go to google. Google finds it just fine. Go back to visible (which says "powered by google." HA!) Won't take the address. Back on the chat again.

BTW: it takes 10-15 minutes to get to a human being on chat. Every time.

They don't seem to have an answer but I'm able to finagle The Exact Match of What They Are Looking For. Which, BTW, isn't quite right. But hell, it's close enough.

I now get to the pay screen. I choose paypal. I have an amex account I use for paypal. It doesn't come up. Instead, paypal presents other cards to use. That's... weird. So I put in amex directly. It fails. Site says the card is wrong. The card is not wrong. They have the amex shield right there.

I put in a mastercard. I don't notice that it doesn't ask me the name on the card. It doesn't ask me if the billing address is the same as the mailing address-- LIKE EVERY OTHER COMMERCE SITE ON THE PLANET. No. It just takes it and I'm so irritated I don't notice.

I get a notice that everything is hunky dory. Then, about five minutes later, I get the transaction is failed.

Huh? That's when I realize. They didn't ask for the name on the card. They presumed (unlike any commerce site on the planet.) that the name on the account was the name on the card.

Okay. No problem. Breathe. I go back to the site. Surely there's a way to change the account, right? Only I can't get to the account. Instructions say: "Hover over the name and choose 'account.'" But no "account" appears. Back to chat.

Turns out that "account" only appears once a transaction goes through. Without a transaction, no account. With no account no ability to change the account to make the transaction happen.

Back to chat.

I explain: the account can't be used for a transaction as is and without a transaction it can't be changed to make a transaction possible.

Chat person comes back and says either to change the name on the account or start a new one with a new email. I like my email so person says the name should be changed in 24-48 hours. Okay. Fine.

I go back to work and then get an email about 10 minutes later: name can't be changed. Feel free to start a new account with a different email. Now I have a limbo account.

I'm going out on a limb and say that this is the worst commerce website I have ever seen. Ever. In my life. God only knows how good the service is. I'll never know.

I'm going over to google fi.